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The Burdens We Carry as Men

June 20, 2025 by Mike S. Burke

When I picked up My Next Breath by Jeremy Renner, I expected a story about survival. What I didn’t expect was to see so much of myself—and so many other men I know—reflected at me.

Renner’s book isn’t just about his accident. It’s about the role many of us step into without ever really discussing it: the role of the man everyone turns to. The provider. The protector. The one who holds the family together when everything else is falling apart. That weight doesn’t get talked about much. You just carry it. Quietly. Daily. Without recognition or applause. Because that’s what we’re supposed to do, right?

Throughout the book, Renner talks about the anxiety he felt—not just from his near-death experience, but from how his pain caused pain in others. That hit hard. I’ve lived that. Many of us have. It’s not just about being hurt. It’s about knowing your injury ripples into the lives of people who count on you. For a man who’s spent his life showing up strong, the idea of becoming a burden… well, that’s its own kind of living hell. 

He describes how, before the accident, he was the one people turned to during crises. He was the problem-solver. The steady hand. The guy who made everyone else feel like everything would be okay. Afterall, he did play a superhero in the Avengers, I have no doubt that bleeds into how people view you. But after the accident, he couldn’t be that guy anymore—not for a while. He had to rely on others. He had to let people show up for him.

That shift, the moment where the man who holds everyone else up finally must be held can be incredibly humbling. Terrifying, even. But it’s also one of the most important things any of us can experience. It’s where true growth happens and we learn who we really are, when the burden is lifted for a moment, we can look inward at who we really are and where our strength comes from. 

Renner writes about how his family surrounded him during that time. They didn’t hesitate. They stepped in. Not because they had to, but because that’s what family does. It’s a reminder that we’re not just the strength for others. Our families, our people, they are the strength behind us. Sometimes we just forget because we shoulder so much and are so deep in the trenches, we don’t appreciate those fighting with us. 

I think a lot of us walk through life with this quiet vow: I’ll carry it. Whatever it is, I’ll carry it so no one else must. But My Next Breath is a reminder that it’s okay to set that load down sometimes. It’s okay to let others help carry it. It doesn’t make you less of a man, it makes you human.

What stuck with me most wasn’t the physical recovery. It was the emotional honesty. The raw admission that being the strong one doesn’t mean being untouchable. It means standing up, yes—but also being able to kneel, to ask, to receive.

For every man out there who’s quietly breaking under the weight of being “the rock,” this book might offer something unexpected: permission to breathe. To ask for help. To let your family be what you’ve always been for them.

Because as Renner realized—they were never your weakness. They were your strength all along.

You can purchase the book here: https://amzn.to/3FVLvve

I hope this add value to your life. Go and read the book, you’ll be thankful you did

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